When I was a kid, I used to get in trouble a lot for asking “Why?” all the time. I remember being told, “Because I told you so!” or “Because I’m your mother; that’s why!” and I remember thinking to myself that those answers didn’t sound like legitimate answers but excuses instead. And I distinctively remember feeling unsatisfied in such a way that something inside of me demanded justice for that curious, innocent part of me that was mistreated unfairly.
So I slammed doors. I avoided my mother as much as possible. I talked back to her when I was angry and foolishly brave enough while giving her the silent treatment when I was feeling like a coward, fearful of my own words and anger. After all, my mother was much bigger than me so surely she was also stronger and more powerful than me, right? Eventually I came around to talking to my mom again and we would pick up where we left off.
As I got older—entering my 20s, my 30s and now my 40s—I look back and I realize that I had the absolute right to question everything that intrigued me, that bugged me, and that deeply concerned me as if it meant life or death. And as I try to let go of all the regret at what I could’ve been had I been given the answers and of the anger I had towards my mom for withholding the truth for whatever reasons, I made the conscious choice to keep searching for the answers. Better late than never, right?
While some may view me as a lost wanderer, my closest friends call me “truth seeker.” The first time that someone called me that, it profoundly resonated with me. And I realized then that that’s what I’ve been doing since I was a kid but I didn’t know it. I was just following my heart. I didn’t know there was even a name for doing what your heart guides you to do!
Doors will open for me at any center around the world with this personal and official invitation from the Korean founder, whom I met on a flight in Nov 2013
Living a life dedicated to truth seeking is perhaps the most challenging choice I’ve ever made consciously. To live every second in truth requires a vigilance I’d never known before. You have good days and you have bad days. Sometimes you’re successful and sometimes you’re not. It’s really, really hard and it’s very lonely at times because you feel like you’re the only one on this path. But then you find out that you’re not alone and that there are others. What a relief! The world is still a beautiful place to live and we’ll make it more beautiful for tomorrow’s generations to come, the small children of today.
Leave a Reply